The Nicolaysen's: Madelyn's birth story

I'm going to start this post by saying that with this birth, I decided to have baby at home. I had Jack in the hospital with an ob/gyn, and although he was/is healthy and everything went well, I didn't like being forced to lay in bed with monitors and feeling like a dummy and inconvenience to the nurses. And I hated the hospital stay afterwards. I had Levi with a midwife in the hospital in Montana. The hospital there is AMAZING. Wonderful nurses, and I had a much better experience. But hospitals still stress me out. So when we moved to Austin, after some convincing from a friend (thanks Jess!) we decided to find a home birth midwife. Now back to the birth story :).

Wednesday night I woke up a few times feeling a little crampy rather then just the regular Braxton hicks contractions I’d been having. They were coming every 10-20 minutes or so, all night. I was able to sleep through them, but not well. I texted Jess (my friend and doula. She was amazing!) Sean went to work and I continued with the day as normal. I had an appointment with the midwife at 10:45, and went visiting teaching at Erika’s after that. The contractions were getting a little more uncomfortable but still totally doable and very irregular. I spent the next few hours resting, while keeping the boys occupied. It was frustrating because the contractions would be 5-6 minutes apart for a while, then get farther apart, then closer, etc. We sent the boys to Erika’s house because I had a hard time dealing with those while also helping with the kids, and we all thought that night would be baby time! I laid down around 10pm to try and rest. They spaced really far apart after that. I got some sleep. Around 2am they were 10 minutes apart again. I was able to doze off between them, but each contraction woke me up. Got up in the morning. Sean stayed home from work. He commented that he thought we would have had the baby by then. Ha! I did too though. This labor was so different then the labors with the boys! Contractions were tough, but so scattered. I went on a walk, Jess walked with me. Got back home and contractions were still super scattered, but spacing further and further apart. Julia and April (my awesome midwife and her student midwife) stopped by around noon to see how I was doing. She checked me, I was at a 4. She said it looked like I was having prodromal labor (real contractions that are effective, but start and stop a lot and could go on for days or weeks). Said it was normal to have that in a third pregnancy. We decided to go pick up the boys after I attempted a nap. I was a little emotional at this point because the contractions felt real and were hard, I was exhausted from not enough sleep, and I just wanted to either be able to nap or to have the baby! We took the boys to the park and met Jess there with her kids. It was nice to see the boys, I missed them! Contractions were getting even stronger now. I couldn’t sit through them. After the park we went with Jess to P. Terry’s for dinner. Sitting in the car was HARD. At P. Terry’s I was able to stand so that was better. We had originally planned on going to a friend's baby shower that night, but decided against it. I was having a hard time and needed to try to get the contractions to calm down. Julia had mentioned an herb to take to help so that I could get a nap in. It’s called crampbark. We picked some up, and I took it when I got home. It was nasty! Put the boys to bed, and by 8pm the contractions were just intense. They were getting longer, stronger, and closer together. I texted Julia to let her know that I didn’t think the crampbark was working and there was no way I was going to be able to nap. She asked me to time 4 of the contractions. They were about 5 minutes apart. I was hot and shaky through them. So she said she’d be over! I still wasn’t totally convinced this was it yet, just because I’d been having contractions for 2 days now. Everyone got there by 8:45 or so. I was having to lean over and moan through each intense contraction. Jess showed up with a hot sock and oils for my back. That was so helpful! The back labor was really intense. There was one point where Jess said she’d never had anyone ask her to put that much pressure on their back before, she thought she was going to knock me over. Haha! It was super intense. I was listening to my hypnobabies tracks. The music more then anything was really helpful. It was a good reminder about how to relax through each contraction. It helped me be able to go limp and completely relax. I leaned against Sean while Jess applied pressure to my back. Julia and April were setting up the birth tub, putting the mattress cover on my bed, etc. They all allowed me to just zone out and do what I needed to do through each contraction. I was able to smile when each one was done, and Jess and Sean cracked jokes to make me laugh. Sean was watching a basketball game in between contractions, so that made for some good jokes ;). My practice with hypnobabies really helped me to be able to focus on one contraction at a time. Whenever I started to think too far ahead and get discouraged I was able to bring myself back and just focus on one at a time. Not focusing on when labor would be over, or when things would get more intense, or anything else. Just being in the present.

Finally the tub was filled and I got in (and Sean turned off the game at this point ;) haha!). That hot water felt absolutely amazing! It was still super intense but the water really helped with relaxation! Jess was still applying pressure to my back while I leaned over the side of the tub and went limp through contractions. I started to get a little discouraged at one point, thinking this was going to go on for hours. But with everyone’s help I was able to refocus and relax.

Julia and Jess working together.

I kept thinking things were going to get way more intense. Transition usually has contractions one on top of another, with you shaky and not able to think clearly. I kept thinking that would come. It didn’t. Suddenly I started feeling small urges to push through contractions. They were still spaced a good distance apart, giving me good breaks. I heard Julia encouraging me. Everyone else also. Each contraction was so so intense. It felt better to push, while at the same time I had to calm myself down to keep fear away. Then in the middle of an incredibly intense contraction I felt a pop and my water broke. At that point, things got HARD. All hypnobabies practice went out the window and I couldn’t relax anymore. I pushed through contractions. They had me feel her head, which was motivating but it was so hard! It felt like 10 minutes from the time water broke to when baby was in my arms, but later they told me there was less then 2 minutes of pushing after my water broke. I felt her head come out, breathed, and got her body out. I wasn’t quiet, but the boys stayed asleep so I must not have been that loud ;). They handed her to me in the water and it was bliss. I couldn’t believe I was holding her!

Looking back I wish Sean had been next to me that whole time rather then taking video of it, but it wasn’t a big deal, he handed the camera to Jess and came next to me. After a minute she started to breath and let out a beautiful cry. I birthed the placenta really quick and we just sat and held baby. She was and is so calm! And incredibly alert! I wanted to get out of the tub, so Sean got to hold baby (with the placenta in a bag since we were waiting to cut the cord. Oh homebirth! I love it!). I got into bed, had skin to skin, and she latched right on with breastfeeding while the midwives cleaned up and Jess got food n stuff to take care of me. A little later they weighed and measured her (8lbs 7oz. 20 1/8 inches long. Her head was 13.5in). With the boys I had 2^nd degree tearing. With this one, nothing! Once everything was cleaned up and done (around 1:30 I think) Julia, April, and Jess made sure we were good, and then they left! We were home with our baby, the boys asleep and totally unaware of what had just happened in the room next to them. We were able to sleep without being woken up by nurses, and just relax ever since. It has been bliss! I still can’t believe I did it! It was so worth it! The birth of all of my kids was beautiful in different ways, but this homebirth was absolutely amazing. So so hard, but so so worth it. I never got to a point when I didn’t think I could do it anymore, despite the intensity of it all. Our body’s are amazing. My support team was phenomenal. They made all the difference. Especially Jess. If anyone is debating about having a doula at their birth, DO IT! They are there to help you in any way you need help! Jess and Sean together were the reason I was able to relax and get through each surge. Seriously, irreplaceable. Julia and April were there making sure we were safe, all was well, and were really good support people for Sean and I. And recovery has been amazing. Way easier then with my other births (though Levi’s wasn’t hard at all, I’m amazed that this one is even better).

We are so happy to have this sweet little girl here with us. In love all over again <3

April weighing her

Julia, my wonderful midwife!

The boys got to meet her when they woke up in the morning. They had no idea that I gave birth to her while they were asleep in the next room. So cool!